How will I eat? – Man queries as wife moves out after her discharge from psychiatric hospital

A Nigerian lady identified as Khloe Umoh has narrated what transpired when a man’s wife who was admitted at a psychiatric hospital returned home.

She said the woman was discharged after being treated for manic depression, but all the while she was on admission, her husband never visited her once.

According to Khloe, when the wife came back home, she packed her bags with the intention of going to stay with her mother and in that moment, the man asked how he will be able to feed if she leaves.

She wrote; “A woman returned from a psychiatric hospital where she was admitted for manic depression. Her husband never visited her once. When she went home to take her things and move in with her aged mother and primary caregiver, her husband asked her ‘if you leave, how will I eat?’

Things like who does the cooking, cleaning, caring may seem basic but they underscore a deeper more intricate thing, which is relationship power dynamic. Women’s self-worth is already tied to marriage and value within the relationship context, so they arrive shortchanged.

When you’re educated to attach life’s purpose to husband satisfaction, in-law satisfaction, children satisfaction, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and manage. So we have men threatening women with marriage and violence over food, and women, unable to leave the place of abuse- Simply because that is the life that they were raised to want. Also because, they’ve already been told not to come back home and as a woman ‘there is nothing you shouldn’t be able to forgive’.

So women stay for the kids; women leave jobs for the kids; women reject promotions- Because they’ll get busier and they have to give their husbands dinner and make sure the kids are ready for school.

The patriarchy has chosen men as the ones who are worthy of support or service. No man is ugly or useless. A gender that is special whether they play their role or Not. A gender that continues to weaponize their strength and social status. I’ll tell you today – as a woman, you cannot sit pretty and comply enough to avoid the pepper the patriarchy is designed to show you. You cannot ‘good girl’ your way out of a system designed to destroy.”