A pregnant Nigerian lady of 32 has written to popular marriage guardian, Cynthia Valerian Raphaels, to ask for advice after she told her husband that she doesn’t want his mother to come when she gives birth which seems to have brought problems between them.
According to the woman, she doesn’t want her mother-in-law around because she stinks and has nail fungus and also, she despises her dressing.
Good afternoon madam Cynthia. My mother is late. I am 32 years, my husband 36 years . My marriage is 3 years and I am almost due for delivery but I don’t want my mother inlaw to come and nurse me and the baby, I will love to employ a nanny that knows how to take care of new borns.
I have already contacted one but haven’t concluded with her. The reason i don’t want my mother inlaw is that, things don’t go down well amongst us, she always despises my dressing and makes my friends feel uncomfortable by telling them that what they wore and how they dress are not good and she has nail fungus in all her nails. she is 65 years old .
I have a house cleaner and she is a single lady of just 25 years old. I told my husband to buy things and send to his mother that we will snap baby picture and send to his younger brother who lives with his mum on WhatsApp. I don’t want her, since then he hardly talk to me. My mother inlaw is living large at the east and she runs a big ankara ware house. What have I said wrong, am I not free to take decisions on who takes care of me and my child. We stay in a duplex, so the older nanny has a play to stay. Please advise me, hide my id ma’am.
In response to her story, a Nigerian mother identified as Mrs. Vivian Emesaraonye Dimgba has taken to her Facebook page to write about respecting mother in-laws. According to Vivian, in a family where love exists, this statement should have never been uttered by the young wife.
Read her full post below:
My husband’s maternal grand dad died not too long ago. Before his death, he had memory loss. But he remembers my mother- in- law, who happens to be his first daughter. He was over 100, but very strong. He’ll walk from his house in the village , to ours for breakfast every morning.
One of those mornings, I was in my mother-in-laws shop when he came. I noticed his feet was peeling badly, and his toe nails were more like talons. I asked him if I could do a pedicure on him, but I’m sure he didn’t get a word I said. Anyway, I got dettol, soap, water, razor, and everything I needed, and went about my task with much determination. It was as if he knew, because he stayed still till I finished. He had bruises too which I cleaned and treated. His toe nails had over a year old dirt stuck in it. When I was done, I got a cream and moisturised his legs.
This happened shortly before he died. For an old man, he wasn’t even smelling right. But I always felt drawn to him, because he looked a lot like my husband. And of course my husband always talked about the wonderful memories he had growing up with his grandpa. This same frail old man, loved and pampered him, and also made sure he had everything he needed. He was king for the period he lived with his grandpa. I think that’s probably why he also turned out quite different ..with a lot of good, and very open minded . Cleaning his feet was nothing compared to just how much I’ve been blessed by his family.
I’m writing this because of the story on madam Cynthia Valerian Raphaels wall. A woman who didn’t want her mother- in- law around when she has her baby, because the woman always criticised her dressing, and has nail fungus.
In a place where love and empathy thrives, That shouldn’t be a problem. Nail fungus is treatable, and the other thing you can handle with a lot of wisdom. It’s just a couple of weeks and mama will go.
I’m going to be a mother in law someday. I might not always smell right, or look great. I honestly pray when the time comes, may God blesses me with a daughter- in- law, who will treat me right and love me, just as I’ve loved my mother- in – law.
You see all these Instagram girls, are accidents waiting to happen. The entitlement mentality is out of this world. There are a thousand ways she could’ve phrased it. A thousand ways she could’ve presented her matter. She forgets, the baby is only 50 percent hers, and the other 50 belongs to her husband. Now she’s wondering why he’s not talking to her. I don’t know how to pray die die prayer, but for this generation.. I’m going to learn it.
You can’t come and kill me.. When I didn’t kill my own mother- in-law. You don’t own your husband. You don’t own your wife. They belonged somewhere before you hitched up with them. Marriage doesn’t change that.