Patrick Obahiagbon, popularly known because of his grammars, is a legal practitioner and a former House of Representatives member.
Obahiagbon completed his secondary school education at St John Bosco Grammar School in Obiaja, Bendel State. He then proceeded to study Law at University of Benin, graduating in 1987. Additionally, he holds master degrees in Public Administration and International history and diplomacy wiki
Today, we bring you 15 quotes of the ultimate grammarian that will crack you up.[AdSense-A]
1. On Democracy Day Celebration:
1. “A celebration of democracy or a deprecable apotheosis of an hemorrhaging plutocracy, cascading into a mobocracy with all the ossifying proclivities of a kakistocracy? With our “democracy” enveloped in a paraplegic crinkum-crankum, we must all rise up to bring to focal hiceps and biceps, Nigeria’s “Pluto-mobo-kakistocracy”…. Certainly not democracy!”
2. Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon Reacts To The Dana Plane Crash:
We must halt this ludicrously lugubrious kakistocracy. We must demur against demuren (no onomatopoeic extrapolation intended). The quotidian stentorian atribilous ululation is abyssopelagic. The country is on a precipice of pocalyptic crepscule”.
Meaning: We must investigate and put aviation sector right, else we all die flying!
3. On Germany v Brazil match (in the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil):
“I am maniacally bewildered, overgassted and flabberwhelmed at the paraplegic crinkum crankum that characterised the Glo CAF awards culminating in an odoriferous saga cum gargantuan gaga! The jiggery-pokery of CAF in crowning Yaya Toure instead of our very own prodigy John Obi Mikel is a veritable bugaboo that must be pooh-poohed by all compos mentis homo sapiens! The perfidy and Mendacity of all the apparatchic of sports suzerainty is not only repugnant but also insalubrious!
I said to my self: What an anathematous disdain of the citizenry! What a deprecable descent from the sublime to the ridiculous! Who will curb the odoriferous excesses of this machavellian and mephistophelean cabal in the Confederation? With this state of affairs, i dare say that African football is swimming in a pestilential aqua with a disastrious terminus ad quem inherently laden with avoidable cataracts, ice bergs and oxbow Lakes. It is sardonic and lugubrious!!!”
4. Rest in peace Madiba…”
‘President Professor John Evans Atta Mills’ passing on is a mere ephemeral recumbent hibernation; an empyrean paradisiac rendezvous lies ahead. Heaven is the terminus. The ecclesiastic, executive and legislature and all Ghanaians at large have lost a solitaire. Any veritable verification of the verity of President Professor John Evans Atta Mills’ demise? I am in a state of metagrabolised melancholia’.
5. On Nelson Mandela:
“Alas the last of the great Titans… The great one who pricked himself on a senticous bush as he pushed for the freedom of his people from oppression… An epitome of sophronization…We shall not cry, rather we will celebrate a life truly well lived…
6. Quote From A Condolence Letter Of Chief Enahoro:
“Certainly the fall of another titan. Chief Anthony Enahoro’s modus vivendi, whilst he peregrinated through this will-o-the-wisp of a three-dimensional world, resonated with a divine halo of an iconic personage who was propelled by the PIRKEAVOTHIAN apothegm which urges man to realise that ‘the day is short and the work is great.’ No wonder that from a very young age, he engaged in self-abnegation and mortification of the flesh in a Spartan, clinical and cerebral bid to salvage the Nigerian project even at the expense of his health infrastructure. He ceaselessly fulminated against vagabonds in power whose primus mobile had philistinic anchorage in a depreciably mindless crave for vacuous hedonism and ingratiating political megalomania.
7. On Fuel Subsidy:
“I have read with acatalectic disgust, governments asinine and puerile ratiocinations attempting to justiceate the proposed removal of subsidies from petroleum products. It has asseverated that its intentions is guided by the need to checkmate the odoriferous excesses of a Machiavellian and Mephistophelean cabal and I have said to myself, what a shame? What a self-indicting admitttal of the failure of governance? What an hocus-pocus?
8. On Ojukwu’s Demise:
”The invitation to the Celestial Lodge of the Soul Personality of the irrefrangible and sui generis Ikemba himself-Dim Odimegwu Ojukwu-brings again to focal hiceps and biceps the ephemerality of life. Beyond the state of lachrymoseism his celestial ascension has and would continue to righteously bestir, I do hope however that we take immutable cognition of the fact that the fundamental issues which Ikemba confronted has now even coagulated and ossified into gorgon medusa.
For Nigeria to progress, we must apotheosize our centripetal proclivities above our centrifugal excrescence, All Hail the Ikemba.”
9. On Private Jet Acquisition:
I cast my vote for Bishop Matthew Hassan Kukah and Pastor Tunde Bakare in their demosthenic vitriol against spiritual megalomaniacs whose modus vivendi has become increasingly byzantine and repulsively narcissistic. We must all begin to deprecate this razzmatazz and Nestorian braggadocio in the “HOUSE OF GOD” because when there is no difference between the values of a Pastor and a typical Nigerian Politician, then it’s truly a bolekaja ambience…..
Any interpreter around?
10. Patrick Obahiagbon’s Hilarious Easter Message
“As we join Christians in the celebration of Easter,may we truly reflect on the quintessential modus vivendi of Master Jesus The Christ who peregrinated this incarnation as an exempli gratia of self abnegation,puritanical excrescence, spartan discipline,mental, magnitude,hierophantic candour and altruistic effusions,qualities which have become a desiderata for national resurgimento.”
11. Patrick Obahiagbon Blows Grammar On ASUU Strike: “Paraphlegic Crinkum Crankum”
“This ASUU strike is a miasma of a deprecable apothesis of an hemorrhaging plutocracy, cascadinly oozing into a maladorous excresence of mobocracy… With all tarmangant ossifying proclivities of a kakistocracy, our knowledgia centura is enveloped in a paraphlegic crinkum crankum. Therefore, ASUU, cest in dejavu, dejavu peret ologomabia.”
12. Congratulating Super Eagles:
“It’s my emblem pleasure to congratulate our Superior Melofarm exclamagated Bermasaur on their recent victory against Ivory Coast.
As the refermed, solid giants are to face Winners of the later game in an uncavoured camfamgnam match, my empyrean paradisiac rendezvous advice to the Super Eagles is for them to recumbently metragaloblicly believe in God. If possible, they should parademically paralyze their pistulated orthodexial legs. I wish them arxiatical luck.
13. On 2014 Rivers State House of Assembly Crisis: “It’s Bringing Calamitous End To Nigeria”
“Is the malodorous excrescence in Rivers State, cascadingly oozing out from erebus Dame, all about the satiation of a megalomaniacal presidential termagant? Let someone assist me in whispering to the Dame that Alagamus Paret Ai Ai Num, Ai Ai Num Cest Daret, Opotere Alagamus…”
14. On Prof Festus Iyayi, Former ASUU President’s Death:
“The grand initiation of Professor Festus Iyayi is a lancinating loss of another stentorian voice, against retrograde and prebendal forces of primitive mercantilism. That he passed through transition on matters pro bono publico, bears eloquent testimony to our state of dystopia. Such is the evanescence of life.Its all vanitas vanitatum.”
15. On Nigeria At 52:
“As we celebrate our flag and shambolic autarky at 52, we must realize that Nigeria is still more of a geographic contrivance as has been rightly posited by Chief Obafemi Awolowo.
Not with our centrifugal excrescences preponderating over our centripetal proclivities. It’s a matter for mental pabulum that we are daily drifting into our ethnic cocoons.
We still remain one country with disparate ethnic agendas and I can say it for the umpteenth time again that we must sit down in a sovereign national colloquy to discuss the basis for our nationhood.
Anything short of this is just vacuous scahiamachy.”
May God bless our country.